A couple of years ago my husband and I attended a retreat at Bear Creek Ranch where “The Color Code” by Taylor Hartman, Ph.D. was used to profile our personalities. It was interesting to learn so much about myself. I mean, I already knew these things about myself, I just didn’t know that there were so many others that have similar personality patterns. It helped me identify my strengths (The description in the book made me feel pretty good about my particular personality!) and it pointed directly at my limitations. I thought there might be something wrong with me. But the list of limitations helped me understand that I can overcome them--becoming more charactered.
|First Edition: Color Code|
(Book Title changed in 2007)
Now I am a parent of five very different kids, but I have the Color Code!
I love knowing and understanding my children. So we profiled each of them--Color Coded them. I began to see how each personality has certain motivations, needs, strengths and limitations. I didn’t do it to “label” them, but to understand them and give them what they need. We don’t pick on each other about our personality color, or talk down about one another. It is just a way of understanding each other more deeply.
|The People Code|
(Different title--same great book)
Here is a brief overview directly from their website:
Red are the power wielders. Power: the ability to move from point A to point B and get things done, is what motivates and drives these people. They bring great gifts of vision and leadership and generally are responsible, decisive, proactive and assertive.
Blue are the do-gooders. Intimacy: connecting, creating quality relationships and having purpose, is what motivates and drives these people. They bring great gifts of quality and service and are generally loyal, sincere, and thoughtful.
White are the peacekeepers. Peace: the ability to stay calm and balanced even in the midst of conflict, is what motivates and drives these people. They bring great gifts of clarity and tolerance and are generally kind, adaptable, and good-listeners.
Yellow are the fun lovers. Fun: the joy of living life in the moment, is what motivates and drives these people. They bring great gifts of enthusiasm and optimism and are generally charismatic, spontaneous, and sociable.
Here’s the rundown of my family:
Kevin (my husband) ~ Red Personality
Heatheraine ~ White Personality
Princess Pink ~ Blue Personality (very relational)
Warrior Princess ~ White Personality (just like mommy!)
Sir Handsome ~ White Personality (with secondary intense red)
Princess Buttercup ~ Yellow Personality (very fun loving)
Queen Vee ~ Red Personality (very strong, after all, she is the queen!)
As you can see, I have all the colors in my family. It gets a little difficult to keep up with all their motivations if I didn’t have it described out for me in a book. (Thank the Lord, and Taylor Hartman!)
With this information about each of them, I can then do some intentional parenting.
I can choose discipline tactics more wisely, according to what "reaches them." For example, Queen Vee is a Red personality, who doesn't really care about feelings so doesn't show remorse. But if she has to say "I'm sorry" it is admitting she is wrong and Reds have problem admitting when they are wrong.
I am getting to know each of my children's needs and how to fulfill them. Blue personalities need people, so I am sure to get Princess Pink together with her friends periodically. White personalities need alone time, so I make sure Warrior Princess has enough quiet time.
I am able to teach and homeschool them with the right motivation. The best example is that Princess Buttercup is a Yellow personality and is motivated by fun. So I make games, sing silly songs and even let her act out the words she reads on her phonics page. She gets her work done correctly (and faster) if there is an element of fun.
Me as a Parent:
I am a White personality and can be wishy-washy when the kids ask me too many questions. My red children (Queen Vee and Sir Handsome) will ask and ask and ask until they get a definitive answer. YES OR NO. I've learned to be less wishy-washy not only for their sake, but for all of them. They've taught me to be a better White personality and mother.
I look forward to posting ideas on how to parent each of the colors. (See links below.)