I've been in and out of the depths of depression since the fall of 2014. I feel like it has been some sort of situational depression because haven't really been prone to depression. We've been building an addition for 3 years now (a master suite and large laundry room.) I am a dreamer. I was doing so well holing on to the hope of change and relief from our small house. With five kids in a three bedroom, ONE bathroom house, it can really close in on you. But in the fall, I didn't even realize that I stopped being interested in my usual delights... writing, blogging, doing crafty projects, reading, homeschooling and even Christmas shopping!
My husband asked me the day after Black Friday last year why I hadn't even started Christmas shopping. It shocked me because I am usually DONE with my shopping endeavors by Black Friday. But this one came and went without a drop of Christmas cheer. Christmas is my favorite. Finding things that delight my children and husband. But I was lost in the darkness, not really aware I was there and not sure how to pull out of it.
January and February rolled around and I thought I could see the light at the end of the tunnel. Spring was coming and maybe I was just having cabin fever. (Not sure if that's possible in Georgia.) But I pushed myself to start seeds for the garden and keep up with the kids school work. I tried to care about stuff again, but gradually my brain went back into the fog and I lost interest again. (Luckily my seeds didn't die in the fog.)
The second thing was... We finally carpeted my new master bedroom and I moved in asap. Somehow the act of moving me to the other side of the house, away from the children, to a serenely painted and decorated bedroom has revived me.
I don't really understand why either of these things helped but I'm glad to be back. And hopeful that I'm in the clear. I'm just happy to be alive, aware, and looking forward to a beautiful garden this summer. I thank my King for all the things He kept safe for me for the past seven months. And that He brought me back from the depths.