What Fills Your Love Tank?
(As seen in MOMENTS (Page 21) ~ Published February 1, 2011)
Does your spouse know how to make you feel loved? Do you know what fulfils your spouse’s emotional needs? In his book, “The Five Love Languages,” Gary Chapman talks about the basic need for love and affection and communicating it correctly. Here is a brief overview of his conclusions.
Are you speaking each other’s Love Language?
Words of Affirmation
Do you feel loved when someone gives you a compliment? Most would say yes, but for some, verbal encouragement fills them and helps them survive the day.
If your spouse needs Affirmation: Always find a chance to fit in a compliment about the work they do, how they look, etc. Never compliment out of bitterness.
Do you feel most loved when someone gives you their undivided attention? Some people just want face-time without the TV on, with their spouse’s full attention. Spending time together communicates that the other person cares about them.
If your partner desires Quality Time: Always make time for a date or a walk or even just a quality conversation. Never say you’re “spending time together” when there are a hundred other things taking your focus off him.
Do you feel charged with love when someone gives you a simple gift? Most all of us love to get gifts but some people thrive on it as a visual symbol of love. A simple gift says to that person, “I was thinking about you.”
If your partner loves Receiving Gifts: Always try to get something for them, especially when they are down, whether it’s their favorite coffee, or a treat, or something you made. Never hold it against them that you don’t have money to buy things—think of them as a worthwhile investment.
Acts of Service
Do you feel loved when someone does a simple task for you? Some feel fulfilled when their spouse does the most normal tasks for them, like cleaning the house, cooking, etc. They see it as an act of love no matter how extravagant or ordinary it is.
If your loved-one’s Love Language is Acts of Service: Always think ahead to do things for them like doing something that they hate doing and do it with a positive attitude. Never do things out of fear, guilt or resentment, it doesn’t come across as love.
Do you feel completely loved with the act of physical touch? Most men think their love language is physical touch because of a man’s strong desire for sex, but for those who thrive on holding hands, a hug or even just sitting in each other’s arms fills their love tank.
If your partner’s needs Physical Touch: Always be aware that a back rub, a stroke through their hair, or just sitting close to them on the couch might make them feel more loved. Never go a day without touching them.
There are tremendous benefits to fulfilling the needs of your significant other. If you figure out what their Love Language is and then speak it often. You will be communicating your daily love for them and keep their love tank full.
Dr. Gary Chapman
NY Times Bestseller
What if you could say or do just the right thing guaranteed to make that special someone feel loved? The secret is learning the right love language. Learn the simple way to express your feelings and bring joy back into marriage.